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26/03

Letting go is rarely something that happens with the snap of your fingers. It can take years to grow into it, step by step. For me, it has unfolded over the years

Learning to let go is a theme that often returns in personal development. It is an active process that can be applied to many everyday situations as a way of staying close to yourself. The opposite movement is holding on, holding on to what is, instead of letting go and allowing space for something to change in a positive way. Holding on to how things should be, instead of letting go and seeing what is possible.

This piece is about letting go in parenting, it’s about the struggles I experienced when one of my children had to leave for boarding school as part of their vocational education. When you speak about letting go as a mother, I do remember some situations, the time my eldest left home for a four-year program. In rural France, especially without public transport, boarding school is quite common. Yet when we settled here, I was seeing everything through rose-coloured glasses, and a possibility like that had never even crossed my mind.

The sense of loss was significant. That specific situation stirred up many memories from my own school years, at a boarding school for children of inland ship families. Old emotions resurfaced. Over time, I was able to process and release much of that, and once I did, the situation became easier to handle.

A next challenge came when both of my children began living independently. They no longer came home automatically on Fridays. Deep down we know this is part of life children spreading their wings. In truth, the process of letting go begins the day your child is born.

What I had never really considered was that they might one day settle outside of France. That possibility made their absence even more tangible. I missed the routines, the jokes, the shared stories, even the small negotiations about doing the dishes, those simple, familiar details.

And at the same time, I felt reassured. Proud. Grateful — perhaps that is the right word. That they were steady enough to stand on their own feet. I felt content with my own life and the experiences that continued to teach me.

After the Covid period, I went through a serious illness and received tremendous support from everyone around me. family, friends and beyond. Fortunately, the contact restrictions had been lifted, and my children were able to be there regularly. They helped keep everything running. We even celebrated Christmas together for two years. The atmosphere was deeply positive. We were grateful and immensely relieved that the treatments had been successful.

The Christmas the year after was different. I no longer remember the exact details, only that it did not work out for us to be together on those days. Internally, I reacted very strongly. Somewhere deep inside, I must have hoped we would once again gather as before.

As far as I know that’s quite common. Most of us naturally want to hold on to what feels good and positive.

But I also realised there were choices. One of them was to shift my own attitude, to remain in the present instead of revisiting the past. To be grateful for beautiful memories without clinging to them. To ask those around me if they’d like to join and organise something together.

The result was, once again, a wonderfully joyful Christmas, this time with friends, as many as could fit around the (big) table. We simply enjoyed being together, spontaneously, in the beautiful French countryside, sitting next to a warmly decorated tree.

Because I truly enjoyed that Christmas, I realise(d) something important.

Letting go has helped me experience my life more from a sense of space, rather than from a feeling of lack.

Space that allows me to turn inward more consciously.
Space to stay connected to myself and choose what truly feels right in the moment.

I am curious whether you have ever gained insight through an event you initially experienced as difficult. If you would like to share, I would love to hear.

Thank you for reading, and until next time.

If this reflection resonates with you, you are welcome to subscribe.

Cornelia van der Ploeg

France, 2026 February

Letting go, and making space for what is

26/02

Returning to essence, a natural shift in how I live, work, and understand life. A personal journey from burnout to intuition, and learning to listen inward when the mind is loud.

Life experiences invite us to become more conscious of who we truly are

This is a story of moving from the mind toward intuition. Of learning to recognise and trust what I sense within.And of how awareness continues to help me stay connected, while living, working, exploring, and gaining deeper insight along the way.

From that awareness, a broader understanding began to form.

I believe that we come to earth to learn and to grow. That growth unfolds through the reincarnation of the soul, the part of us that carries intuition, deeper feelings and subconscious knowing.

The mind lives alongside the soul, often louder and more dominant, guiding us through life with logic, expectations and learned patterns. In contrast to many Far Eastern cultures, where presence, rest and awareness are woven into daily life through practices like meditation and yoga, Western society is largely built on knowledge, planning and performance.

This makes it easy to slip into living on autopilot: mentally rushing ahead, losing spontaneity, and becoming disconnected from the inner world. That state became familiar to me, both as a self‑employed professional and as a reorganisation manager and MT member within a governmental organisation, while raising young children and juggling responsibilities, deadlines and care.

From the perspective of reincarnation, we are born with a history of previous lives, even though we are not consciously aware of them. This means we can react to certain situations in unexpected or unexplainable ways, responses shaped by experiences we no longer remember. Seen this way, reincarnation simply gives the soul more than one lifetime to develop and mature.

Every life offers us possibilities to grow, often without noticing it. But we can also choose to engage more consciously with personal development, especially when repeating patterns, recurring outcomes or a deeper sense of inner calling begin to surface. That was my path.

Through intimate relationships, I slowly shifted from a curious, independent, lively person into someone fearful, dependent and diminished. Ending those relationships took courage, and finding my way back to myself took time.Along the way, I realised how essential qualities like spontaneity, curiosity, creativity and a natural openness are for living from a place of inner sense, qualities I had slowly lost and needed to reclaim.

After the second breakup, when burnout left me feeling lost again, I began to ask how this was possible, especially given my upbringing in a loving yet turbulent environment. That question marked the beginning of an inner search.

It started with neurolinguistic courses, which helped me understand my patterns and offered new ways of looking at life. Later, when a period of unrest moved through my small family, someone suggested an energetic clearing.The effect was profound. The household calmed. My cravings for nicotine and the occasional drink simply fell away.

That experience became a turning point. It revealed the importance of grounding, sensing energy and vibration, and gently protecting ourselves from influences that do not belong to us. It offered a new understanding of myself, and of the world beyond the visible.

Around that turning point, following my heart meant leaving the stress of Holland behind and moving into the quiet rhythm of the French countryside, a place where breathing freely became possible again.

In the years that followed, various support and seasonal jobs helped me support myself and my now adult kids, clear, practical work that allowed life to settle. As the rhythm returned, the chosen path of inner awareness deepened through ongoing study and practice , learning to connect, to listen, and to trust my inner sense.

Through all of this, it became clear that personal growth is not a destination but an ongoing practice. At the heart of it all lies one simple truth: we find our deepest clarity when soul, mind and body move in balance, when the mind softens, the body grounds, and the soul has space to speak.

My work grows from this personal journey, shaped by the awareness, grounding and quiet energetic attunement developed along the way. It is the natural expression of everything lived, learned and reclaimed , a way of guiding others while continuing to work on myself, so growth remains a shared, evolving practice.

If these reflections resonate with you, you’re welcome to walk along for a while ,exploring, learning and listening to your own inner sense in your own time.

Cornelia P. van der Ploeg

France, 2026 February

Learning to Listen to My Inner Sense

26/01